My break up with the EX was devastating. I was numb for months. I didn't tell anyone I had moved out and was living at my mom's. I cried all the time. I didn't talk to anyone. A friend of mine told me at that time, the sparkle was gone from my eyes. And truth be told, it was. I was a functioning depressed person. The EX (not to be confused with GM) was the man I fell in love with, the man I thought I would grow old with, my partner in crime, the person who got me better than anyone else, my lover, my friend. And guess what? He was not the man I thought he was. Our relationship was flawed and I was just to deep in it to see all the faults. We were together for 5-6 years. Living together most of that time. And then it ended. We did the back and forth thing for YEARS. And I'm here to tell you, it was a waste of my time. I don't regret anything about this relationship. It made me what I am today.
But I am so glad we were young at a time when technology wasn't so present. I don't know what I would have done if Facebook would have been around, or texting or the internet. These things make it impossible to leave it alone. I stupidly looked up my EX on Facebook yesterday and guess what? He was there. Instantly, I felt like I was going to throw up. I don't care about this person anymore yet all the anxiety is still there.
It took a lot of PAIN to move on from this very unhealthy relationship. And it took me a lot of years to see all the flaws and why we weren't a good match. I am a better person today - I am happy and strong. I don't like to think back to that time. I would rather live each day and look forward to what lies ahead.
To my friends who are struggling - It will get better - I promise.