Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Broken

I have been thinking a lot about a couple of friends lately. Both are going through some pretty hard times. Nothing is harder than ending a relationship. I have gone through a couple of pretty bad ones myself. And the best advice I can give is...you will get through this.

My break up with the EX was devastating. I was numb for months. I didn't tell anyone I had moved out and was living at my mom's. I cried all the time. I didn't talk to anyone. A friend of mine told me at that time, the sparkle was gone from my eyes. And truth be told, it was. I was a functioning depressed person. The EX (not to be confused with GM) was the man I fell in love with, the man I thought I would grow old with, my partner in crime, the person who got me better than anyone else, my lover, my friend. And guess what? He was not the man I thought he was. Our relationship was flawed and I was just to deep in it to see all the faults. We were together for 5-6 years. Living together most of that time. And then it ended. We did the back and forth thing for YEARS. And I'm here to tell you, it was a waste of my time. I don't regret anything about this relationship. It made me what I am today.


But I am so glad we were young at a time when technology wasn't so present. I don't know what I would have done if Facebook would have been around, or texting or the internet. These things make it impossible to leave it alone. I stupidly looked up my EX on Facebook yesterday and guess what? He was there. Instantly, I felt like I was going to throw up. I don't care about this person anymore yet all the anxiety is still there.


It took a lot of PAIN to move on from this very unhealthy relationship. And it took me a lot of years to see all the flaws and why we weren't a good match. I am a better person today - I am happy and strong. I don't like to think back to that time. I would rather live each day and look forward to what lies ahead.


To my friends who are struggling - It will get better - I promise.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was brave of you to share.

Well done.

Kara said...

Thanks for the thoughts. I don't see it as brave. I'm pretty much an open book if someone wants to know about that part of my life - I'll share. It's just not that pretty. It was a very sad, awful time in my life.

I'm a much more fun to be around today. :)

Danielle said...

I think it is interesting that you just posted this. I was thinking just the other day about my biggest EX, and sometimes I think it would be so much easier to not see all the things on facebook. It is almost like any time he changes something I relive some of the pain I had already dealt with. Ugh...amazing how technology can do that to people.

Good post.

Dreams and Designs said...

Great post and so true. Technology does make it hard. I've cared about 4 men in my life... and I think I've looked them all up at some point- facebook, google, myspace. Just to see...

Anonymous said...

I'm convinced the only thing I'll ever need is the love of my family, friends, and a puppy. :)

This too shall pass...

stillarockstar said...

thanks for your insight and CARING! ;)